Pt 4 – URGENT UPDATE: A KFC employee has been diagnosed with coronavirus.

An employee of the fast food chain, who served thousand of people succulent fried chicken, has contracted the semi-fatal respiratory illness. What does this means for Ballistic Insides?

Are you hearing this? KFC is giving people Coronavirus? What in the name of Central China’s Hubei province does this mean for a young man trying to eat everything that KFC gives to customers?


Your thoughts have once again matched mine, person barely really reading this. Ballistic insides chief editor, culture champion and lead receptionist is going to face his biggest challenge to date.

Contract Coronavirus

I hear the shrieks from all eight of you who made it this far. How in the name of the world health organisation  do you contract an illness which has a 0.00158% rate of infection in Australia? Lets pop a pencil in that VCR and wind it back a bit.​

What we know of the illness so far is that it first spread from a wet market in Wuhan after the consumption of bats.


So all i need to do is get to Wuhan and hunt down a few night birds to tick this one off the list?

As you can see, flights to Wuhan are currently as cheap as a packet of samboys on clearance. But as you can also see, this flight is out of Avalon. 

Do i look like a plebeian? A worthless peon? Some low level bottom feeder seeking attention at any cost? The answer to that is yes.

But i'm not spending 14 hours in a car from the CBD to Avalon, when we have bats in our own backyard. Who's to say a Wuhan bat is anymore corona-laden than a Melbourne bat? 


So what? I'll just head down to the caves near the Yarra bend and start licking bats hoping something catches? Is this what the colonel would have wanted? A young man furiously licking bats near the Yarra so he can achieve his dreams pf eating the entire menu? 

Welcome to the hustle.

More updates to come. 

Ballistic Insides Chief of Staff , Culture Champion and Receptionist - Pie

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